


even in winter it shall be green in my heart

by dream_ery



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys In Love, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Slight Manga Spoilers, akaashi doesn't know how feelings work, but only in their minds, fortunately bokuto does, i am bad at writing feelings, suprisingly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27899533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dream_ery/pseuds/dream_ery
Summary: seasons change and so do akaashi and bokuto's feelings and thoughts about each other.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	even in winter it shall be green in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> 1) the title is a quote by frederic chopin  
> 2) this did not turn out the way i thought it would  
> 3) apparently i suck at writing dialogue  
> 4) hope you enjoy!!

Akaashi only truly loved volleyball when Bokuto was there to spike his tosses. He loved to watch Bokuto jump and reach for something that Akaashi has given him. He loved the elevated smile on his face when his spike landed on the court (and maybe even loved how that made him smile in turn). But most of all, he loved the way Bokuto would, while everyone screamed Nice kill!, turn his way and say, “Nice toss,” with the most happy expression that only appeared in moments like this. 

It made volleyball feel special. Bokuto made him feel special. 

It was no surprise that, when Akaashi’s third year as a high school student started and Bokuto wasn’t there next to him, everyday life became dull. Akaashi had become so used to his best friend’s silly jokes and energetic personality – quite frankly, the only thing that managed to brighten his day – that now, when he was stripped of those, smiling didn’t come easy. He missed Bokuto barging in his classroom during breaks, shouting his name with absolutely no shame and demanding to eat lunch together on the school’s rooftop. 

Akaashi was not a people person. While he had many thoughts and opinions on his own, he rarely spoke them out loud – even Bokuto heard them rarely. But they were both okay with this – this is who they were, what kind of friendship they had. Bokuto talked and Akaashi listened. It was normal for them. It was a routine. And Akaashi had grown so used to it, always being by Bokuto’s side, that he neglected the relationships he had with the students in his own year. 

Because Bokuto was one year older than himself. And now, entering his third and final year of high school, he is going to spent it miserably alone. But what was the worst thought of them all – Bokuto didn’t need him anymore. Didn’t need his tosses to spike, as he was already trying out for one of the Japan’s big shot teams. Didn’t need his silence or his reassuring words that managed to make his foul mood brighter during a badly going game.

Bokuto did not need him to open up the path anymore. 

֍

“Want me to walk with you to school?”

“Bokuto-san, you are headed in another direction.”

Loud laughter burst from Bokuto’s mouth as he gave Akaashi one of his most radiant smiles – teeth and all. “Never mind that. Why can’t I walk my best friend to school?”

Not wanting to argue, Akaashi only heaved a sigh and offered a small nod to his friend, whose hair, upon getting the confirmation, stood up straight again. For a while, they walked in silence. Cherry blossoms fell down onto the path around them, gently swaying in the wind. Some caught in Bokuto’s hair and Akaashi, with an indifferent expression, went to pluck the petals out. As he moved away, he could see a light blush adorning Bokuto’s cheeks. 

The same colour as the petals, Akaashi thought, then quickly steeled himself. Thoughts like these kept getting more regular as time passed, or, in truth, as he spent more time with Bokuto. Well, most of his time included Bokuto anyway and Akaashi wondered if now those thoughts will gradually fade away. Part of him hoped so, but the other, buried in deep in the well that could be called emotions, fought daily to rise up to the surface.

“Tell me again, about the try-outs,” Akaashi demanded, even if focusing on Bokuto talk about them repeatedly only served as a distraction from his own traitorous mind. Bokuto, who was blissfully unaware of the raging turmoil happening in his best friend, chatted along. His voice was loud and, in the quiet morning, drew attention from many others who also hurriedly headed to their own destinations.

“Akaashi!” Bokuto laughed once again. “It was amazing! Everyone there was just as great!”

Akaashi couldn’t help but wonder, if he liked playing volleyball with his new teammates more than he did at Fukurodani.

“-are also good, but I miss yours!”

“Huh?”

It was unusual for Bokuto to be perceptive of others, so it surprised Akaashi when his face twisted into a frown. His golden eyes, if only for a shade, darkened and his white eyebrows furrowed together. But Bokuto quickly hid his look of concern with a, “Hmph! I said something you should already know.”

“What is that, Bokuto-san?” It was only the morning – not a time when Akaashi bothered to switch on his brain or was in the mood for games. “Just tell me.” 

“No fun! Akaashi, you’re no fun,” the boy with two colours in his hair said. “If you don’t know, then I’m not telling.” Under his breath, Akaashi heard him mutter dejectedly that he should’ve already know. 

Slight pink colour was still present on Bokuto’s face and stayed there the whole time they walked to school. Akaashi was not able to see it lingered even when Bokuto was at his practice, where he excused it as tiredness from playing volleyball too much.

֍

“Our libero Komi, middle blocker Washio, wing spikers Konoha, Sarukui and Bokuto, who was also the captain, all left us this year. This means four spots on the team has opened up, that is, if Akaashi and Onaga stay.” The coach, Yamiji-san, perceived them with a glare. “You plan to, I presume?”

“Yes,” both Akaashi and Onaga said at the same time. 

“Then, we have some third years who will play this year, the ones who didn’t get to do it the first two years. In half an hour, also, the first years willing to try out will join us in the gym. I hope you will all welcome them.” Mutters of agreement ran across the space and Yamiji-san sighed. “I am also aware some of you think that without the last year’s team, we stand no chance of winning. Is that so?”

No one dared to answer him, so they, instead, chose to look at each other. Akaashi wondered who will be ones he’ll toss to. Sometimes he allowed himself to fantasize of how it would have been, if he was one year older, if he had the honour of playing with Bokuto three years instead of two. 

“Never mind that! New people bring new opportunities! And new opportunities bring new chances of success. Don’t let your spirits down before anything even begins. That’s all. Remember what we stand for.”

One ball, heart and soul. That was their motto. 

It hurt in Akaashi’s heart, if only a tiny bit, when he thought that Bokuto took all of that with him when he left. Akaashi loved volleyball because of Bokuto. And now he saw him in every little thing. A stray ball? Bokuto’s shout of frustration. The net? Bokuto’s high jump and a hand reaching over it to spike the toss. His toss. If the absence of a friend only hurt one bit, it caused him to ache upon realising he wasn’t needed anymore. Not in the same way he used to be. 

֍

There was a loud slam as Bokuto’s spike landed on the court opposite of him. He could feel sweat dribbling down the side of his face, only making it even more excruciating to play in the summer heat that steadily approached them. At the moment, he wished they would have had practice indoors, but their coach insisted that some fresh air wouldn’t hurt them. Despite his obvious fatigue, Bokuto insisted on playing his best until the end of the match – that is, because it was 20th of July, the first day of summer vacation for high schooler. And that led to Akaashi watching them play from the side lines. If there was anything that fired up Bokuto during a match more than a cheering crowd, it had to be a pair of dark blue calculating eyes. In front of Akaashi, for Akaashi, Bokuto always did his best. 

“Did you see that, Akaashi?” Bokuto yelled over the commotion. Akaashi didn’t offer him any words in return, but the smile he received spoke volumes. 

That damned smile was something that did not leave his mind. He replayed it over and over, especially now that he did not get the chance to see it daily at school. Their contact was now, mostly, limited to late night phone calls, text messages and an occasional surprise visit. That is why Bokuto was determined to spent each and every second of the summer break alongside Akaashi. 

Atsumu tossed, yelling, “Bokkun!” and Bokuto spiked. They both yelled upon the successful try. 

After another hour of playing, the coach deemed it enough for today. A second found Bokuto nearly toppling over the very much suspecting Akaashi. 

“Hey, hey, hey, Akaashi! I’m still the best, ain’t I?”

With that proud smile, Akaashi couldn’t deny him a ‘yes’. He wouldn’t have been able to deny it even if he’d been speaking a lie. “Of course, Bokuto-san.”

“Then we’re going out to eat!”

“What’s the occasion?”

Bokuto gave him a pout that in itself spoke that he didn’t like Akaashi’s question. “No real occasion. Just missing my friend.”

Bokuto lived for the smile Akaashi offered him. It could have been only in Bokuto’s imagination, but it truly looked genuine. “Alright then. Where to?”

Grabbing Akaashi’s hand, he started dragging him along in the right direction. His excitement of seeing Akaashi again disabled him of any other rational thinking. Only when Akaashi pointed out that he was still in his sweaty gym clothes did the reality settle in. 

“Don’t worry,” Akaashi gave a short laugh of amusement. “I will still be here. I’ll wait for you right here.”

If Bokuto wasn’t whipped before, he sure was now. 

In the changing rooms, Atsumu gave him a long and meaningful look that made Bokuto’s face heat up and even his ears turned red. Miya Atsumu was no stranger to Akaashi, but sometimes he thought he knew him too well despite the short amount of times they have spoken. All of that knowledge, of course, came from Bokuto’s excited babbling to the team.

“Excited to go on a date after such a long time?”

Bokuto’s brain stopped working. “N-not a date, Atsumu!” Under his beath, he dejectedly muttered, “Just two friend hanging out.”

Atsumu laughed, but his face looked serious, “Then, you want it to be a date, right?” When Bokuto didn’t answer, he continued, “You probably think that Akaashi wouldn’t like that, but it’s quite obvious he wants the same thing.”

“Obvious?” If it was possible, Bokuto looked like a lost puppy, even as he hurriedly took off his shirt. “I don’t see any signs of that and even if they were, Akaashi would be good at masking them.”

“Why?” asked Atsumu. “Akaashi Keiji is the most direct person I have ever met. He doesn’t sugar coat his words. Well, unless he’s trying to make you feel better on the court. But still, even if his words sound sweet, there’s always direct meaning behind them.” 

Akaashi’s words 'I will still be here. I’ll wait for you right here' rang in his head. It sounded direct to him and he didn’t know why he’d felt so disappointed. For a moment out there, he had thought Akaashi might be implying something else, but now he saw pointless that is – he and Akaashi had been friends for three years and one of those three has been spent mostly through phone messages. He did not know what he expected – for Akaashi in these distant time to realise that their friendship may have deeper roots than they thought? He was only kidding himself. Even though he wasn’t sure when he started to feel for Akaashi in this way, it was crystal clear Akaashi did not harbour feelings of the same meaning. 

Atsumu punched his shoulder. “Stop sulking! Go wash up, dress nicely, maybe get the gel out of your hair and go win his heart.”

“In that order?”

“You’re really are a lost cause,” mused Atsumu. “But, at least you are aware of your own feelings. Akaashi might be a sharp person, but when it comes to emotions, I don’t think he understands them one bit.”

“It’s because his family isn’t overly an emotional one. His parents care for him and he cares for them, but they’ve never really expressed that. I don’t think his parents hugged him one time!” Bokuto stressed. “I still remember that the first time he’d come to my house and my mom hugged him, he had gotten so overwhelmed. Then he got used to it and even let me hug him.”

“That touch-starved, huh? Then you have an amazing excuse to touch him.” Atsumu was sporting a smirk now and Bokuto regretted even starting this conversation. 

But something still bothered him: “In that order, yes or no?”

Atsumu’s booming laughter could be heard even outside the changing rooms and Akaashi wondered what caused him to smile like that.

֍

Only an hour later, when the scorching heat calmed down a notch, Akaashi and Bokuto exited the small store where they bought different foods and a blanket. They had stayed inside for as long as they could, because places like this were the only ones with coolers to calm them down a little. They headed towards a small, usually uncrowded, park, with a simple goal in mind: to have a picnic in the cool shade. It was better than going to a restaurant, where people almost tripped over each other to get a seat and the many bodies only created an additional heat that was far from welcome. 

“If I knew this before, I’d bring a volleyball for us to play with, Akaashi!”

Akaashi gave him an amused smirk. “You’ve just finished practice, Bokuto-san. I think you have had enough volleyball for today.” While that was true, deep down Akaashi wished Bokuto had really brought one with them. 

“I always have enough energy left to play with you.”

“Maybe after you eat.”

They found a spot after some looking – the park was fuller than it used to be. The search went into their favour, though, as they discovered a lonely spot covered in shade and surrounded by trees. A lone bench sat in the corner, worn out from all of the people cutting in their names. Akaashi took the blanket out of the shopping bag and placed it gently on the soft-looking grass, trying to smoother out any wrinkles to make it cover a larger spot. 

Meanwhile, Bokuto took the bag with the foods and started to arrange them beside the blanket. Looking through it, he stated, “I hope we didn’t forget anything.”

“It’s a little late to check, but, Onigiri?” asked Akaashi with only a slightly worried tone.

In spite himself, Bokuto smiled gently. “Of course, that was the first thing in the cart.”

He missed Akaashi’s light blush as he once again went to inspect for anything missing. 

“Uh …”

“What did we forget? Chopsticks?”

Bokuto turned around to give Akaashi a suspicious look. “How did you know? But, um, not exactly.” Upon seeing Akaashi’s confused expression, he added, “We did bought chopsticks. Only a pair, though.”

Akaashi was totally red in the face and he knew it. He was only making the situation more embarrassing with each passing second. Just as he’s readied himself to offer to go buy more, Bokuto interrupted with him with the biggest grin. It means trouble, Akaashi thought to himself.

“Then, I’ll just have to feed you! Or you feed me. I don’t mind either.”

Wondering if he should be relieved or disappointed by the lack of concern and embarrassment in Bokuto’s voice, he looked towards his friend, who was, unknown to him, freaking out of his mind. 

Let’s just enjoy it, Bokuto thougth, while we still have time.

֍

“Hey, Akaashi, later, we are going to study at the library. Want to come?”

Three of his classmates stood in front of him, all holding textbooks other than what they studied today. Exams were coming up and everyone who didn’t study before was now frantic to get any help they needed. Akaashi wasn’t able to decide if they just wanted to use him or were just genuinely making an effort to talk to him. Either way, Akaashi didn’t mind. Ever since the start of this year, he was, more or less, always alone. He had fleeting conversations with some of his classmates, but nothing was enough to warm up to them, especially since he was not a person who smiled easily. 

That is why he took a leap of faith. “Of course, when?”

It was like tension left their faces and smiles broke out. “At three. You’re free, right?” asked Hagiwara.

Akaashi nodded with a rare smile that usually only Bokuto saw on his face. 

“Alright, then, see you later!” They waved at him and then left for lunch. Choosing to leave him alone for the time being. With a sigh, Akaashi took out his own bento and headed for the rooftop, hoping for some peace and quiet. He hadn’t heard from Bokuto in three days as his practice got more and more demanding, leaving him to only tiredly close his eyes and fall asleep once he reached the place he was staying at. Akaashi was hoping that if he texted him now, he’ll catch him between a break. 

To his relief, there were only two other girls on the roof, both seemingly not interested in any type of conversation other than the one they were having as they whispered to each other. At sights like this, Akashi often wondered how he and Bokuto even got along, as they were polar opposites. But then again, there was a saying about that. 

Once he sat down, he first took out his phone and started to type a message. 'Bokuto-san, are you free?'

The message was left on ‘delivered’. Akaashi tried not to feel let down, as the seconds, then minutes passed. The girls left by the time Akaashi was still staring at his phone, Onigiri in his mouth and hope in his heart. 

“He’s probably busy …” he muttered to himself. With a sigh, he leaned back on the fence and closed his eyes. He felt tired of this, knowing that their relationship slowly crumbled apart as the time went on. It was neither of their faults – of course Akaashi was not going to blame Bokuto for chasing his dream. How could he, when it left such a smile on Bokuto’s face, when he talked about practice so excitedly and every one of his matches and games only seemed to deepen the love he held for volleyball? 

Akaashi wasn’t sure when he realised that the feeling he had for Bokuto were not entirely centred on their friendship. It made him wonder, however, if they ever were. Since he met Bokuto, he was the one to inspire him to keep playing. How could he not, when the same smile he wore in matches now used to be caused by him?

As autumn passed on, leafs of gold, brown and red kept spilling on the floor, Akaashi couldn’t help to think that his friendship with Bokuto was going to end the same way – cold and unforgiving, just like the winter that was slowly approaching. 

֍

As dark creeped into day hours, Bokuto knew winter was close. These days, practice with his team dragged on and on, despite it being his long-time dream. He lived for volleyball and volleyball lived for him.  
Something was still missing, dream or not. Bokuto knew it from the start, but could only now exactly pinpoint what it was. He really needed to give Akaashi a call. Lately, time seemed to easily slip through his fingers, leaving him with none to spend it with Akaashi. To give it to him – and Bokuto questioned when he had become some love sick poet rip off. 

Small puffs of warm air left his mouth as he tried to warm his fingertips on the way back to his apartment building. Blinding snow was making it hard to see as it reflected on the rare sun beams that made it through the thick clouds. He felt the tips of his ears almost freezing and if his hands hadn’t been in the same condition, he might have tried to pick up some snow and playfully throw it into a group of kids to start a fight between them. Instead, with trembling hands, he pulled out his phone from his gym bag. His eyes widened as he saw a message already waiting for him.

'Bokuto-san, I am in front of your apartment.' (sent 1 hour ago)

It was like heat surged though Bokuto’s body – he no longer felt the cold and even his freezing fingers somehow found the strength to roughly squeeze his phone. He hadn’t heard the message come in when he was in the dressing room back at practice and now he left Akaashi standing in the winter cold for probably more than an hour. His cheeks blazed with red and Bokuto ran. His mind didn not even process the idea that taking the bus might be quicker – he just trusted his legs to take him to Akaash as fast as they could. Apparently, today’s practice didn’t tire him out completely, because he didn’t stop running, not even for a second, not even when he almost slipped on the freezing ground multiple times.

He was getting nearer and nearer and he could, just around the corner, see Akaashi standing beside the automatic doors, with a scarf around his neck and hands outside his warm pockets as he typed another message. Bokuto felt his phone vibrate against his hand but he didn’t stop to check who it was – or, better said, he already knew who it was and that person could tell it to him in just another few seconds.

Bokuto didn’t stop before Akaashi. He sent them both flying into the snowy ground. Akaashi’s eyes were wide from shock and when he saw who tackled him to the ground, Bokuto expected to get yelled at. Instead, Akaashi, upon seeing Bokuto’s smiling face, laughed. Genuinely laughed, like he hadn’t in months. Bokuto’s heart melted further and he just lay there, atop his best friend, hugging him closer. He soon felt Akaashi’s arms sneak around his torso as well and it felt like they could stay there forever. And they did, until the cold got to Akaashi and he sneezed.

Bokuto lifted himself up and found himself enthralled by the colour of Akaashi’s eyes. In winter, everyone’s favourite colour usually became white, just like the snow that covered green grass. But Bokuto’s remained a mix of dark green and blue – just like Akaashi’s eyes. Even in winter, green was still the colour that stayed in his heart.

“Let’s go inside, yeah? You must be freezing,” he said as he offered a hand to Akaashi to help him stand up. 

Akaashi dusted the snow off his clothes and then reluctantly nodded. Bokuto didn’t know what bothered him, but he wanted to reassure his friend in any way he could. 

They entered his apartment and Bokuto immediately reached for the zipper on Akaashi’s coat, hanging it to try and went to fetch a warm blanket to cover him instead. He wrapped it around Akaashi, almost like a cocoon and couldn’t help but laugh at how silly it looked. While Akaashi remained there standing with an unchanged expression, Bokuto was able to see a light red colouring his cheeks. He led him to the living room where he sat him down on the small couch he owned and said, “Wait here. I’ll just go change and put my stuff away.”

Before he could fully turn around, something caught him by his sleeves. It was Akaashi’s hand, still cold from the freezing temperatures outside. His fingers trembled slightly and whatever he meant to say clearly embarrassed him as he stuttered out, “S-Stay here.”

Bokuto was no expert for human emotions, but with this, he had gotten the slightest idea what might have been bothering Akaashi all this time. Maybe even for months. He turned to face him again and, feeling bold, placed a hand against his cheek, thumb softly swiping against the blush on Akaashi’s face. “Don’t worry, I’ll still be here,” he repeated the words once Akaashi said to him.

He undressed as fast as he could, not wanting to leave him alone. These moments enabled him to think clearly about the situation and in the end, he decided that maybe acting like he always did, happy and full of energy, might be what would calm Akaashi’s racing mind. And then he would get him to talk – but Bokuto would talk as well. There was something he had been wanting to share with him since forever.

Back in the living room, Bokuto called out, “Akaashi! Want some hot cocoa? And, um, you could help me make it?”

Akaashi’s response was a short ‘yes’ – but nothing else could be really expected. He got up from the couch and joined Bokuto in the small kitchen and asked, “Where are the cups?” Bokuto directed him to one of the shelves while he started on the cocoa. Once it was finished, Akaashi held both of the cups out and Bokuto poured in the hot drink. Akaashi immediately went in for a sip, but Bokuto’s hand on his own stopped him from that.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Bokuto repeated, with an unbelieving face. “Marshmallows, of course!”

It was Akaashi’s turn to be confused. “Marshmallows?”

Bokuto laughed out loud. “They’re missing!”

Akaashi gave a small smile and Bokuto knew he succeeded in making him feel better by his slightly childish behaviour. 

“You never change, Bokuto-san. But, do you have any?”

“Hey, hey, you know I do have some, always.”

He pulled them from one of the shelves containing food and put four in each of their drinks. “Now you can drink.”

“It’s good,” said Akaashi in an automatic response before even trying out the cocoa. 

“Come on, let’s go back to the couch and watch a movie.” Bokuto directed them around, laying his hand at the small of Akaashi’s back in another rush of boldness. 

Neither of them paid any attention to the movie. Bokuto was too preoccupied by thinking of where to place his hands and if Akaashi even wanted to be touched and Akaashi just tried not to blush every time there was the slightest movement from Bokuto. At some point, they stared sneaking glances at each other, both knowing they had to talk but neither with the courage to start it. For a second, Akaashi feared this might end just like every visit – full of unspoken words not ready to leave their minds, feelings not expressed and with a growing tension between the two. 

Bokuto was the first to still his resolve. “I guess we should talk, Akaashi.” There was no more playfulness in his voice so Akaashi knew he was being serious. 

Taking a deep breath, Akaashi said, “I guess I’ll go first.” With a nod for confirmation from Bokuto, he cast his eyes down and continued. “Ever since the start of the third year, I felt like … you didn’t need me anymore.” Bokuto was about to loudly protest, but Akaashi put his hand over Bokuto’s mouth and effectively shut him up. “It started because we would obviously never play together again. And I just put myself down, over and over again by thinking that with Miya Atsumu-san, who is an undeniably better setter than me, only that would make you happier then when I was there to toss to you. I realise that is childish, but you know I was never able to stop from overthinking. And then as you got more and more into practice and we got less and less time to spend with each other, I thought, ‘This is it. This is where our paths divide.’ And I got scared that you would … I don’t know, forget about me. So I tried to contact you more and when you didn’t have time to reply, I overthought it again as you not needing me anymore in your life.”

Akaashi kept on looking down, refusing to meet Bokuto’s intense stare, as there were tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He choked out, “That was foolish of me. I’m sorry, Bokuto-san.”

A few seconds of complete silence passed. Then, he was startled as Bokuto let out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh, man, I thought you were going to tell me that you were the one not wanting to keep our friendship alive. Not that I’m making fun of your feelings, it’s just that because of how nervous you were, I wondered if something was extremely wrong.”

They fell silent again, but then Bokuto continued. “Hey, Akaashi, that day when I walked you to school, do you remember that I was saying something and you didn’t hear? You know, when I was explaining about practice?” Akaashi nodded, not knowing where this was going. “And you told me to repeat it, but I answered that it was something you should have already known?”

Bokuto’s smile was blinding. “So, have you figured it out?”

Akaashi thought back on all of those months before. He remembered Bokuto’s excited chatter, the blossom petals falling all around them and a sentence he didn’t quite catch:

'-are also good, but I miss yours!'

“Give me a clue?”

“It’s something you have been worrying yourself with all this time,” Bokuto provided, a smirk starting to tug at the edges of his lips.

What was he worrying about? Their friendship? Their practice together, maybe? But what could he miss?

The answer, simple as it was always with Bokuto, hit him like a ton of bricks. His toss. 

“My toss?”

“Bingo! What I said was, Atsumu’s tosses are also good, but I miss yours.”

Akaashi could see it. How excited Bokuto became when they did extra practice together, when he sent a perfect toss his way and how Bokuto’s smile at those moments felt like it could light up the world. It made him feel stupid for ever doubting their friendship and their connection.

He couldn’t help but grin. “Friends?”

Bokuto’s reply shocked them both. He nervously scratched the top of his head, as he said, “I hope not.”

Akaashi was too stunned to even process how hurt he felt by those words. He didn’t understand how Bokuto went from saying he missed his toss to not wanting to be friends anymore. He felt a lump in his throat and this time, the tears really did spill down his cheeks, each and every one of them there instead of the words he wanted to say but couldn’t bring himself to. Akaashi got up to leave, wanting to be gone as soon as he could, but Bokuto’s tight grip on his arm did not allow him to move even an inch.  
“Don’t misunderstand,” he whispered and moved to wipe the tears off with his thumb. “What I am trying to get to is that … I want to be more than friends.”

If he was anything, Akaashi was tired of always fighting back his feelings, always putting up an unfazed front of not caring, when secretly, he, without an exception, always cared too much. He had infinite love to give and long ago, he decided that the person receiving it would be Bokuto. 

Bokuto watched the hurt leave Akaashi’s face, only to be replaced by shock and then an emotion he had never seen in his eyes before. His heart thumped loudly in his chest as he waited for Akaashi’s reply and each passing second made his fear of rejection deepen. Then Akaashi turned his eyes to him, a small smile on his lips that for the first time, reached his eyes, and with a steady voice replied, “Me too,” and pulled Bokuto in by his shirt.

While they kissed, Bokuto came to realize that the emotion he saw was happiness, love and so much more that Akaashi found himself to express for the very first time. And most importantly, while they kissed, both came to the same conclusion that not any candy or cocoa could compare to the sweetness of the kiss they shared.

That evening, the kiss between them was the first of many to come.


End file.
